just my thoughts

so life lately has been pretty normal. chase is in school and working and i'm working and doing an internship at a health center. except i'm starting to worry slash think a lot about my future, career wise . . . or as i like to put it, my contribution to society wise. not that i haven't been doing that for the past 6 years, but i am now a college grad, and close to finishing my internship. i am a busy lady . . although i still manage to play on the beach. but, after my internship is almost done occupying my mind and time, so then WHAT do i do? work security still till i get a "real" job. ugh, such an annoying question that i just can't seem to answer.

where do i fit in in this ginormous world?!?! what the heck is my nitch? i like too many things and don't feel i excel in just one.

after shadowing two doctors and one nurse, i can't quite say i want to go into medicine. that is part of the reason i did this internship, to see if that really was something i wanted to pursue. but maybe it's just because im at a health center and not hospital. but even after observing what medical assistants do, i can't quite see that being me and can't find myself thinking, "oh ya i wanna do that, i would be great at that." i keep feeling more like, "ooo this is fascinating, interesting, buttttt...." anyway, in the medical field you do extreme amounts of charting on computers, tons of phone calls and emails, your brain is like an encyclopedia of memorized knowledge, and you think on your toes with confidence. i swear so much of their time between patient visits is typing away on the computer. they usually have an appointment every half hour, but often more. they are busy people and i applaud EVERY medical personnel, and that includes the M.A.s and nurses, especiallllly. doctors would be nothing without them.

 i also attend the fight for cancer events in the community, assist in teaching diabetic classes and how to eat more healthy, while volunteering at a food bank once a month. and i enjoy it all. i have contemplated personal training, nutritionist, nursing, medical assisting, radiology or sonography,  community health, and corporate health. so that brings me to, where do i fit in? what am i good at? where are my special talents that separate me from the others? all hard decisions considering i don't wanna be a full blown career woman. my first choice is to be a mother, the best job in the world.

and not gonna lie, sometimes i have a hard time not comparing my abilities to my sisters. it's stupid and i hate it, but being a triplet and all, developing into these adults in the real world is quite a task. i live amongst talented and beautiful people. i just have to keep reminding myself that i am capable of anything, as long as i commit myself and work hard enough. i am confident in my abilities, but not sure of exactly what. thank goodness i have the best husband in the world who never lets me forget what really matters, and is always there to brighten my day. i love him for that.