me and my girlie

Photos taken at Scripps Pier in La Jolla, CA by @beautifullyblissphotography

This girl and I are the best of pals! I love her so much because she has filled all the holes in my heart and allowed it to not only become whole, but overflowing with love. Being a mother is the most precious gift and I thank my Heavenly Father every day for her. Not a day goes by that I don't look into Rem's eyes and smile with gratitude at the little miracle she is in my life, and it makes it a billion times better when she smiles back :). We like to hold hands, cuddle, and kiss and talk to each other and it's just the best thing ever. I can't wait to be at her side her entire life, even when she doesn't want me to ;). She is my everything, and pair her with Chase my world is complete.

It was a long road to find our Remi, but worth every twist and turn. Chase and I often look back at our journey from the day we decided to try getting pregnant to today, and are so happy it ended up just the way it was supposed to. We couldn't be happier with the Lord's plan for us, and blessing us with our perfect daughter. After that first year back in 2012 when we started trying, we still weren't pregnant in 2013 so decided to seek out fertility treatment. Since then, it's been a roller coaster. In the past four years I underwent a surgery to correct a uterine anomaly that ended up not being necessary. I sought out many doctors both holistically and western, to treat my autoimmune disorders and find medications that worked. I decided to try to heal my body with strict eating plans in hopes of boosting my immunities, stabilizing my hormones, and attempting to feel normal. In 2014, we finally had Chase checked and realized his sperm count according to tests was non-existent. So put all those pieces together and the puzzle was clear, we wanted to adopt. Not because we had to, but because we wanted to, we knew it was right and it brought us so much love and joy! I think sometimes in life we just need little nudges to remember what we were meant to do all along. Adoption was something that had been on my mind for some time, and I had grown more familiar with it as I went into adulthood. The more time that had passed, the more I wanted our baby this way. In 2015, we finalized that decision as a couple through fervent prayer and research, and our lives have never been the same.

Looking back, it was only a year from when we started the adoption process to when Remi was born. Chase and I are insanely grateful that our wait was brief. I know it's because Heavenly Father knew we had been waiting four years already, and it was finally our turn! But during that time of waiting, He knew what we needed to learn and how we needed to grow in order to prepare for building our family through adoption. And the awesome thing is, He directed our lives down a path that gave us the experiences, places, jobs, and people that did just that for us. Choosing to adopt opened our hearts and healed our souls. To this day, we can both say we are grateful for our struggles and stoked things didn't work out the natural way, because without those struggles we wouldn't have our Remi which is unbearable to imagine. Adopting our Remi has brought us more joy then we could have ever imagined or predicted for ourselves prior to the process. Parenting is a billion times more awesome then we ever dreamt of!

I hope by sharing these words I have opened some hearts. Perhaps to give those who are struggling to build a family of their own some hope, and removing that negative connotation, "I'm never going to be a Mom," from their vocabulary. Or maybe those who have the means and heart to add another child to their family, so a child in need can have a place to call home and be loved. Life is never a dead end when things don't go the way you thought. There is always a bend in the road or perhaps a secret tunnel off to the side, one that you didn't see before but was always there. It's up to you to peek into those options and see what feels right. Persevere, never give up, there is so much hope in adoption. I can't help but share because it is something I feel so strongly about and want others to receive that same joy. If adoption is something you have ever wondered about and want to talk about it, please email me (see my about page). I know I have had a handful of guardian angels that I relied on throughout this journey, and still do. Friends I have made that will last a lifetime, all thanks to adoption and that bond that unites us. It is a gift that helps you see a little further, feel more fully, hear more openly, think a little deeper, love bravely, and give selflessly. And that's a gift I want in my life, and am so grateful to have.

Sure do love our sweet Remi girl, and stoked to be her mom forever! These photos are something I will forever cherish and remember. A beautiful evening with a beautiful girlie. Now which one should I frame for her room?! ;) Adoption is love my friends, so much love.